We have no one to blame but ourselves.
She knew that there were two main reasons why people complained: (1) because they were fearful and helpless and (2) because it had become a habit.
When we complain, we feed the negativity. You know what I’m talking about, Hope? Some people wouldn’t have anything to say if they weren’t complaining.
Remember change begins with you.
If there is something you don’t like, then there is something you do like. If there is something you are not happy about, then there is something that would make you happy. Complaining can actually be a gift if we use it correctly. If we pay attention to our thoughts, words, and complaints, we will learn a lot about what we don’t want and don’t like. We can then use what we don’t want and don’t like as a catalyst to help us determine what we do want and do like. The fact is, we will never completely eliminate complaining from our life. The key is to turn complaining against itself and make it work for us. Instead of letting it generate negative energy, we can use it for a positive purpose.
Each time we catch ourselves complaining, we can say, ‘Okay, I don’t like this or I’m not happy about this. So then, what do I want? What will make me happy? What thought will bring me peace instead of frustration? What actions can I take to rectify this?’ Let your complaints tell you what you don’t want, so you can focus on what you do want. Every complaint represents an opportunity to turn something negative into a positive.
‘Let your complaints about problems move you to solutions.’
It doesn’t matter how many times someone tells you something, often you need to find the answer for yourself in your own time.
It’s easy to be positive when everything in life is going great. The hard part is staying positive when you get knocked down and kicked around. The fact is, no one goes through life untested. With so many people telling us we can’t do it, we have to be positive and believe we can. We have to have faith and trust in a bigger plan for us and our team. Life is a test, and a deciding factor of whether we pass or fail is the answer to the following question: “Are you going to stay positive in the face of your doubts, fears, and challenges?” Staying positive is not about putting on a fake smile or believing you can do it all yourself. Rather it’s about being optimistic and living with hope and having faith. The measure of our success will not be determined by how we act during the great times in our life but rather by how we think and respond to the challenges of our most difficult moments.
Sometimes we need to confront a situation to move past it and, as we know, ignoring problems that stare us in the face doesn’t work. Negative interactions are necessary as long as they occur much less frequently than positive interactions.
To be positive and free or to be imprisoned by our own negativity. To live in the past or to be hopeful about the future. It’s a choice. And only you can make it.
Mindless complaining serves no purpose and only sabotages morale and performance. Mindless complaining cultivates negativity and adversely affects the complainer and the person being complained to.
People will learn that in every complaint is a solution waiting to be discovered that will make us better, stronger, and more successful.
Playing to win requires a commitment to yourself that even if you fail, you will never give up and never let your goals and dreams die. Those who play to win know that success is not given to us. It is pursued with all the energy and sweat we can muster. Obstacles and struggles are part of life and only serve to make us appreciate our success. If everything came easy, we wouldn’t know what it felt like to truly succeed. Obstacles are meant to be overcome. Fear is meant to be conquered. Success is meant to be achieved. They are all part of the game of life and the people who succeed are the ones who play to win, trust, and never give up until the game is over.
She knew that she could never stop bad things from happening but decided that from now on she would turn her complaints into solutions and her misfortune into fortune.
She wrote:
1. Trust in a bigger plan.
2. Find strength in adversity.
3. Failure today leads to success tomorrow.
4. The worst event in life is often a catalyst for the best.
5. Positive or Negative. The choice is ours.
Day 1: Monitor Your Thoughts and Words
Spend today monitoring your thoughts and words. You’ll be amazed at the thoughts that pop into your head and come out of your mouth. The key is to become more conscious of what you think and say.
Day 2: Make a Gratitude List
When you wake up in the morning, write a list of the things you are thankful for. When you find yourself wanting to complain, focus on what you are grateful for instead.
Day 3: Take a Thank-You Walk
When you wake up in the morning, take a thank-you walk. While you’re walking, think of all the things you are grateful for. Try to remember this state of gratitude and carry it with you throughout the day.
Day 4: Focus on the Good Stuff
Today, focus on everything that is right, rather than wrong. Focus on what is right with your life, rather than wrong. Focus on what others are doing right, rather than wrong. Praise instead of criticize. Focus on what you get to do versus what you have to do.
Day 5: Start a Success Journal
Today, write down all the great interactions and accomplishments you have had today. Do this throughout the day and before you go to bed.
Day 6: Let Go
Make a list of the things you would like to complain about. Go through this list and identify the things that are within your control that you have the power to change and identify those things that are beyond your control. Identify possible solutions and a possible action plan to the things that are within your control. Write the word surrender next to the items on your list that are beyond your control.
Day 7: Breathe
Spend 10 minutes in silence. Focus on your breathing while praying or meditating and transform stress into positive energy. Throughout the day, anytime you find yourself feeling stressed or wanting to complain, stop for 10 seconds and breathe. Count your breaths and your blessings.
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